TWENTY 第二十章

Farid had warned me. He had. But, as it turned out, he had wasted his breath.We were driving down the cratered¹ road that winds from Jalalabad to Kabul. The last time I’d traveled that road was in a tarpaulin-covered truck going the other way. Baba had nearly gotten himself shot by a singing, stoned Roussi officer--Baba had made me so mad that night, so scared, and, ultimately, so proud. The trek² between Kabul and Jalalabad, a bone-jarring ride down a teetering pass snaking through the rocks, had become a relic³ now, a relic of two wars. Twenty years earlier, I had seen some of the first war with my own eyes. Grim reminders⁴ of it were strewn along the road: burned carcasses of old Soviet⁵ tanks, overturned military trucks gone to rust⁶, a crushed Russian jeep that had plunged⁷ over the mountainside. The second war, I had watched on my TV screen. And now I was seeing it through Farid’s eyes.Swerving⁸ effortlessly around potholes⁹ in the middle of the broken road, Farid was a man in his element. He had become much chattier since our overnight stay at Wahid’s house. He had me sit in the passenger seat and looked at me when he spoke¹⁰. He even smiled once or twice. Maneuvering¹¹ the steering¹² wheel with his mangled¹³ hand, he pointed¹⁴ to mud-hut villages along the way where he’d known people years before. Most of those people, he said, were either dead or in refugee camps in Pakistan. “And sometimes the dead are luckier,” he said.

法里德警告过我。他警告过，可是，到头来，他不过是白费唇舌。我们沿着弹坑密布的道路，从贾拉拉巴特，一路蜿蜒驶向喀布尔。我上一次踏上这条征途，是在盖着帆布的卡车中，往相反的方向而去。爸爸差点被那个嗑了毒品的、唱着歌曲的俄国兵射杀——那晚爸爸真让我抓狂，我吓坏了，而最终为他感到骄傲。喀布尔到贾拉拉巴特的车程非常崎岖，道路在山岩之间逶迤颠簸，足以震得人们的骨头咔咔响。如今沿途景象荒凉，正是两次战争遗下的残迹。二十年前，我目睹了第一场战争的一部分。路边散落的东西无情地提醒着它的存在：焚毁的旧俄军坦克残骸、锈蚀的倾覆的军车，还有一辆陷在山脚被撞得粉碎的俄军吉普。至于第二次战争，我曾在电视上见过，现在正透过法里德的眼睛审视着它。法里德驾轻就熟地避开那条破路上的坑洞。他显然是个性情中人。自从我们在瓦希德家借宿之后，他的话多起来了。他让我坐在副驾驶的位置，说话的时候看着我。他甚至还微笑了一两次。他用那只残废的手熟练地把着方向盘，指着路边座座泥屋组成的村落，说多年以前，他就认得那里的村民，他们中多数不是死了，就是聚集在巴基斯坦的难民营。“而有时候死掉的那些更幸运一些。”他说。

He pointed to the crumbled¹⁵, charred¹⁶ remains¹⁷ of a tiny village. It was just a tuft of blackened, roofless walls now. I saw a dog sleeping along one of the walls. “I had a friend there once,” Farid said. “He was a very good bicycle repairman. He played the tabla well too. The Taliban killed him and his family and burned the village.”We drove past the burned village, and the dog didn’t move.IN THE OLD DAYS, the drive from Jalalabad to Kabul took two hours, maybe a little more. It took Farid and me over four hours to reach Kabul. And when we did... Farid warned me just after we passed the Mahipar dam.

他指着一座遭受祝融之灾的小村落，现在它只是一些黑色的墙壁，没有屋顶。我看见有条狗睡在那些墙壁之下。“我在这里有过一个朋友，”法里德说，“他修理自行车的手艺很棒，手鼓也弹得不错。塔利班杀了他全家，放火烧掉这座村子。”我们驶过焚毁的村子，那条狗一动不动。曾几何时，贾拉拉巴特到喀布尔只要两个小时的车程，也许多一些。法里德和我开了四个小时才抵达喀布尔。而当我们到达……我们刚驶过玛希帕水库的时候，法里德便警告我。

“Kabul is not the way you remember it,” he said.

“喀布尔不是你记忆中那样了。”他说。

“So I hear.” “我听说过。”

Farid gave me a look that said hearing is not the same as seeing. And he was right. Because when Kabul finally did unroll before us, I was certain, absolutely certain, that he had taken a wrong turn somewhere. Farid must have seen my stupefied expression; shuttling people back and forth¹⁸ to Kabul, he would have become familiar with that expression on the faces of those who hadn’t seen Kabul for a long time.He patted me on the shoulder. “Welcome back,” he said morosely¹⁹.RUBBLE²⁰ AND BEGGARS. Everywhere I looked, that was what I saw. I remembered beggars in the old days too--Baba always carried an extra handful of Afghani bills in his pocket just for them; I’d never seen him deny a peddler. Now, though, they squatted²¹ at every street corner, dressed in shredded²² burlap rags, mud-caked hands held out for a coin. And the beggars were mostly children now, thin and grim-faced, some no older than five or six. They sat in the laps of their burqa-clad mothers alongside gutters²³ at busy street corners and chanted “Bakhshesh, bakhshesh!” And something else, something I hadn’t noticed right away: Hardly any of them sat with an adult male--the wars had made fathers a rare commodity in Afghanistan. 法里德看了我一眼，仿佛在说听见和看到不是一回事。他是对的。因为当我们最终驶进喀布尔，我敢肯定，绝对肯定，他一定开错路了。法里德肯定见到我目瞪口呆的表情，也许在累次载人进出喀布尔之后，他对这种久违了喀布尔的人脸上出现的神情早巳习以为常。他拍拍我的肩头，“欢迎你回来。”他忧郁地说。废墟和乞丐，触目皆是这种景象。我记得从前也有乞丐——爸爸身上总是额外带着一把阿富汗尼硬币，分发给他们；我从不曾见过他拒绝乞讨的人。可是如今，街头巷尾都能见到他们，身披破麻布，伸出脏兮兮的手，乞讨一个铜板。而如今乞食的多数是儿童，瘦小，脸色冷漠，有些不超过五六岁。妇女裹着长袍，坐在繁忙街道的水沟边，膝盖上是她们的儿子，一遍遍念着：“行行好，行行好！”还有别的，某种我一开始没有注意到的事情：几乎见不到有任何成年男子在他们身边——战争把父亲变成阿富汗的稀缺物品。

We were driving westbound toward the Karteh-Seh district on what I remembered as a major thoroughfare in the seventies:

我们开在一条朝西通往卡德察区的街道上，我记得在1970年代，这可是主要的商业街：