Dogs. What are they good for?

狗狗到底有什么好？

Let’s just agree that they’re pretty darn amazing, and perhaps more importantly, better than a boyfriend—especially some of those icky ones out there (apologies to the good ones; you know who you are)。

我们得承认：狗狗还真讨人喜欢，有时候甚至比男朋友好——尤其那些讨人厌的家伙。(当然，好男人除外，你懂的)5. Dogs Don’t Care if You’ve Put on Some Weight狗狗不介意你胖了没

That’s right. They don’t. They just love you, unconditionally¹. In fact, they might just enjoy a little more of you to snuggle up to. Basically, as long as you feed them, pet them, take them for walks and love them right back, your dog is going to think you are the Queen of the World—regardless of whether you’re a size 0 or a size 22.

真的是这样，狗狗不会介意你身材如何，它们只会无条件爱你。而且狗狗很享受和胖胖的你依偎在一起的感觉。只要你喂它、抚摸它、带它出去溜溜，你就是它心目中的女王——至于你是骨瘦如柴还是身材丰满，它才不介意呢！

4. Dogs Never Cheat

狗狗从不撒谎

There’s no need to dig through their stuff for secret love notes. And you’re never going to come home to find him snuggled up to your hot next door neighbor (well, maybe, but it doesn’t mean anything). Dogs are supremely² loyal to their masters. They’ll do anything to protect you. Now that’s what we call special。

狗狗没有不可告人的甜言蜜语，更不会勾搭上隔壁辣妹(好吧，也可能会勾搭，但你不会吃醋)。狗狗对主人向来忠心耿耿，会尽一切力量保护你。这绝对是它们最特别的地方。

3. Dogs Never Come Home Drunk

狗狗从不醉归

In fact, going to the pub and having a drink would be hazardous³ to their health. Dogs would rather be by your side, anyway. All. The. Time. That’s why they howl and croon about their loneliness when you banish⁴ them to the backyard or the laundry room at night (although men do that also)。

众所周知，泡吧喝酒易伤身。这一点，狗狗绝对跟你同一战线，至死不渝。所以，如果你晚上把它关到后院或洗衣房，它会失落呜咽。(当然，这种情况下，男人也会。)2. They Love to Snuggle

狗狗总爱围着你转

Dogs have no hidden agenda or ulterior motives⁵ while snuggling. Most dogs (let’s face it, all dogs) would snuggle with you practically all day long if you’d let them. But then again, who wouldn’t want to snuggle up with the Queen of the World?

在你身边，狗狗不会顾盼左右或别有用心。只要你允许，多数狗狗(好吧，所有狗狗)可以整天只围着你转悠。当然喽，谁会不想时刻腻在女王身边呢？

1. Dogs Are Always Happy to See You

看到你，狗狗总是很开心

If we’re going to be super honest, happy isn’t quite the word. Dogs are actually ecstatic to see you. It doesn’t matter if you just stepped out for a quick errand or went on a seven-day vacation; your dog will always do a little dance of excitement and jump all over you upon your return. How many men do that?

坦率讲，狗狗看到你何止是开心，简直是狂喜嘛。不论你是一周假期归来，还是只出趟门买东西，狗狗一看到你，必定摇尾欢跳、兴奋不已。哪个男人能一直这样对你？