Health spoke to Farchione, as well as Kat Kinsman, the author of Hi, Anxiety: Life With a Bad Case of Nerves and a senior food and drinks editor at Extra Crispy (full disclosure: she's also a friend), about an issue reportedly affecting 18% of adult Americans.
"We'll leave your kinsman the bunk and sling hammocks for ourselves.
Our kinsman the cabinetmaker should make us a calf out of wood and paint it brown so that it looks like any other calf, and with time it is sure to grow big and be a cow.
Trust neither friend nor kinsman!